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  • Spar
    by Nikko Lee

    A closeted black belt comes to terms with his bisexuality when he takes an openly gay student as his new sparring partner.

  • Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    by Nikko Lee, Digital Fiction

    Life as a gay omega werewolf is no fairytale.

  • Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt, Rev. Thomas Thorn, Nikko Lee, Dax Bordas, Sebastian Bendix, Rick Powell, Misty Tyers, J. N. Cameron
    Contains Bouillon de Bebe 
  • NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    by Gary Budgen, Julian Darius, Richard Greico Jr, Nikko Lee, K. A. Opperman, Alice Renard, Rose Banks, Paul St. John Mackintosh, Michael Seese

    Contains Instabiable by Nikko Lee

  • Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    by Carol Hightshoe, Cynthia Ward, Terry M. West, Christie Meierz, Dana Bell, Mary E. Lowd, Patrick J. Hurley, Francis W. Alexander, Liam Hogan

    Brainatarian by Nikko Lee

  • Coming Back
    Coming Back
    by James Arthur Anderson, Brian Barnett, Dave Fragments, Shawna Galvin, Vince Darcangelo, Ken Goldman, Michael Lindquist

    Contains A Mother Knows by Nikko Lee (paperback available at

  • Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    by Jonathan W. Thurston

    Contains Great Mother Wolf by Michelle Knowlton

  • People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    by Frank Larnerd, Tony Peak, Geoff Gander, Shenoa Caroll-Bradd, Robert Hart, Nikko Lee, Kyle Yadlosky, Edward Martin III

    Contains Bouillon de Bebe by Nikko Lee

  • Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    by Nicole Gestalt, Crysta Coburn, J.T Seate, Nikko Lee, V.C., Zak Jane Keir, Blair, Regina Kammer, Jim Lee

    Contains Boson's Mate by Nikko Lee

  • The Big Book of Bizarro
    The Big Book of Bizarro
    by Rich Bottles Jr.

    Contains Honey-Do by Nikko Lee

  • Between Love and Lust
    Between Love and Lust
    by Nikko Lee


    Print-on-demand paperback

  • Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    by J. Troy Seate, Patricia McCarthy, Nikke Lee, Andrea Saavedra, James Hartley, Edward McKeown, Mike Graves, J.E. Gurley, Zakk Erikson, David Bernstein C.C. Blake

    Contains Pure Delight by Nikko Lee


Part of me never escaped

Warning: discussion of abuse


I have that dream again. The one where I've finally managed to break up with my emotionally abusive ex and can finally start putting the pieces of my life back together again. It's a dream I've had countless times since I drove him to Bangor and put him onto a plane out of my life. The details are different, but the themes are the same.

This time I'm cleaning up my old apartment, one that I haven't lived in since I was with him. There's stuff everywhere. It's a mess. But I'm confident that I can get things cleaned up. Then my ex shows up and won't go away.

Even though it's been 11 years and the relationship only lasted 3 years, it left a scare on my soul. I will never forget the confusion imposed by constant gaslighting. Those endless nights of crying, not knowing what to believe anymore. Feeling like this was my fault because of the choices I'd made or some fatal flaw within myself that couldn't just make things work.

There was the night I called 911 because he wouldn't let me leave then explained to the police officers that he just wanted a number on my cell phone.

Or the time he threatened to return my cats to the shelter if I couldn't work things out with him.

There were the subtle and not so subtle ways he tried to control me. From sexist jokes to convincing me that my friends and family hated him.

Mostly I've moved on. I have a great life with a loving husband who respects my autonomy and two cuddle demanding children. That is aside from the occasional panic attack when I think I've seen him or the crushing weight of remembering all I went through.

I did learn some lessons.

1. Anyone who makes you cry more than you smile is not good for you.

2. Anyone who tries to physically stop you from leaving doesn't respect you.

3. Someone who has been caught lying has no incentive to tell the truth.

I'm not sure what triggered the dream this time. I think it has to do with Blaise Ford's description of her assault and her willingness to stand before a body of people - more than half of whom have a vested interest in ripping her life to shreds - and defend her truth.

You never forget when you think someone might kill you. Part of you is still there, will always be there in that moment when you realized that your fate was in the hands of someone who will take pleasure in hurting you. 


Mt. Washington Autoroute: Kid Speed

Last month, we packed up the kids and headed to the White Mountains. In passed years, we've hiked Tuckerman's Ravine and the Seven Husband's trail. This year with an almost 4 year old and an almost 2 year old, I stayed with the kids while my husband and some friends hiked Tuckerman's Ravine.

Instead of hiking, I loaded the kids, some snacks, drinks and some warm clothes and we headed up the autoroute. It felt like cheating as we climbed mile after mile at a snails pace listening to the tour CD. Soon the road grew steeper and the forest gave way to rock. The sun glinted off the mica and the fog lifted from the valleys.

We were nearly to the top when the paved road ended and we kept driving pulling aside for those in more of a hurry.

The record is something like 7 minutes by car, it took up nearly half an hour. At the summit, I was glad to have brought extra layers of clothings as it was a good 15 degrees cooler than at the base. The kids and I explored around the summit, watched the cog train depart and went inside for a snack and to wait for my husband and his friends.


They arrived shortly after we did. We shared lunch before they headed down the trail and I loaded up the car. Ten minutes of crying later, both kids had passed out and I enjoyed a quiet ride home.

There will be many hiking years ahead of us. For now, I'm adventuring on kid speed whether by car or tiny toddler steps.


Unheard voices: what we lose when we don't prioritize diversity

Yesterday I read a blog post by a well-respected and published author where he railed against diversity for diversity's sake at the expense of quality cis white male authors such as himself. The post was overall tone deaf about the issue of diversity and – as you can imagine – the comments in reply ranged from 'amen, brother' to 'how dare you'?

I came down on the fence, politely pointing out that the drive behind diversity in writing, science, etc. is not equal numbers at the expense of quality, but a realization that the system we've developed excludes many voices that have quality ideas that can enrich our overall experience.

The reality is that there is only one person who can win an award or a handful that can be nominated. So, yeah, maybe if a person from an under-represented group wins an award it means that the old, white, guy who was also nominated loses. Is that really a problem?

No one is advocating that minority status entitled anyone to a free pass. We are in a moment where numerous entertainment and academic avenues are taking a serious look at their lack of diversity and asking why?

In the case of fiction publishing or science, the lack of diversity in the fields stems from a lack of opportunity at the entry levels. Institutions and organizations are taking a hard look at their representation because it reflects a lack of open doors and support at the most fundamental entry points.

A friend asked me how I – a white cis woman – can write gay erotica. I expressed my reservations about writing from a view point outside of my own experience. I struggled with it when I published Wolf Creek and Spar. A gay man would be better able write about their own experiences, but they wouldn't be writing my stories. They would be writing their own.

A cis white male has every right to write a romance with a female main character. But how much more could a woman bring to that story? An African-American woman? An illegal immigrant woman fleeing gang violence with her children in search of a better life?

While the skill of a writer can allow them to get into the shoes of their characters – whoever they are – the story written will not be the same as one written by an author with different life experiences.

The whole blog post and subsequent debate really struck me as mirroring a powerful discussion we are having in the USA about the value of immigrants, diversity and race. A diverse population brings forth new ideas, challenges and experiences to the betterment of all. And yes, that means fewer white male everythings. But if their work is truly that good, it will not be pushed aside for the sake of diversity but honored as another voice in our rich tapestry.


Maine Crime Wave 2018

I missed the Crime Wave last year. The previous year it had been cancelled. So I was pretty excited to attend this year's gathering of crime writers and readers. It's a chance to meet old friends and make new ones.

The CrimeMaster Award was given to Douglas Preston. He's a journalist and novel author who writes about his own adventures like being on the team to rediscover the lost city of the monkey god - a books I have been ravenously reading - and fictionalized accounts inspired by his experiences. He's also teamed with with Lincoln Child for numerous collaborations. Fantastic speaker.

Kate Flora gave an insightful workshop about character voice where she talked about the camera lens of the voice and how to use both intimate and more objective narrative to capture the reader's interest.

The keynote speaker was F. Lee Bailey - yes that F. Lee Bailey of the OJ Simpson case. I could listen to him for hours talking about his experiences in the military, how he came to be a lawyer and the cases he's worked on. He also presented some straight-forward rational for why OJ couldn't have done it, the focus of an upcoming book.

When I drove to the conference, I was doubting my place in a room full of published and aspiring authors. After all when was the last time I had any time to write much less think about my languishing projects? Then I started talking about the craft and realized I do have experience publishing, thoughts on my origins as an erotica writer and more stories I need to tell.

I've sent Safe Word off to Carina Press. I'm now setting about remaking the outline for Wolf Creek that I managed to lose when cleaning up my office.

And I'm looking forward to another Crime Wave next year.


The Witches of Gloucester by Lisabet Sarai

Its not about power. Its about love.

I've been in the mood for romance lately. I tried picking up a Nora Robert's book, but just couldn't get into it. The Witches of Glouster by Lisabet Sarai caught my attention as soon as I saw the cover art and title. There's just something about the bond between women, especially when mystical powers, are involved that interest me. This looks like a great story to check out.



The historic port of Gloucester, Massachusetts has a special charm, due at least in part to its resident witches. For decades, raven-maned Marguerite and red-headed Beryl have lived among its hard-working inhabitants, making magic and mischief. Love and sex fuel their supernatural abilities, but duality limits their power. To reach their full potential, they need a third witch to complete their circle.

Rejected as a nymphomaniac by her puritanical boyfriend, Emmeline escapes to Gloucester to work on her PhD thesis. From the moment she arrives, Marguerite and Beryl sense her erotic vitality and unrecognized paranormal talent. The platinum-haired beauty may well be the enchantress they have been awaiting for so long. Now they need to show Em that her prodigious libido is a gift, not a liability, and to persuade her that her destiny lies in the sea-girt town they guard, and in their arms.

SPECIAL BONUS: Also includes "Late Show", a contemporary FF erotic romance tale about second chances.

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PG Excerpt

“Will she come, do you think?” Marguerite gestured toward the 1930’s brass Commodore clock on the mantel, which read ten minutes past four. “She looked so nervous yesterday – as if she thought we’d eat her alive.”

“Well, actually, when you put it that way...” Beryl allowed herself a lecherous chuckle.

Her companion gave her an exasperated grin. “This is not a joke. You know as well as I what is at stake.”

“Don’t worry, Mar. She’ll be here, though she may have to wrestle a few doubts into submission first. She feels the pull, just as we do, even if she doesn’t understand it.”

“Well, I do hope she arrives soon.” Marguerite surveyed the elegant table she’d set. She picked up a Blue Willow porcelain teacup and wiped away an imaginary smudge. “The icing on the petit fours is melting.”

As if in answer, chimes tinkled at the front of the house and a hint of fresh air slipped in the open door, bringing the ubiquitous tang of salt. From his corner cage, Marguerite’s mynah, Jonah, exactly mimicked the sound of the doorbell. Beryl jumped to her feet. “I’ll go show her to the parlor.”

“No, no – let Gloria do that. We don’t want to spook her with excess enthusiasm. Settle down and compose yourself. Remember, you’re a member of the Ladies’ Welcome Brigade. Refined. Polite. Proper.”

“Proper?” Beryl grinned and thumbed her peaked nipples, obvious as always through the navy blue crepe of her blouse. Her eyes fluttered shut as she relished the sensation. “Refined? Me?” 

Marguerite licked her full lips. She swept her palms over the plum velvet caftan that hid her thighs. “Try to pretend, darling. Just this once.”