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  • Spar
    Spar
    by Nikko Lee

    A closeted black belt comes to terms with his bisexuality when he takes an openly gay student as his new sparring partner.

  • Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    by Nikko Lee, Digital Fiction

    Life as a gay omega werewolf is no fairytale.

  • Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt, Rev. Thomas Thorn, Nikko Lee, Dax Bordas, Sebastian Bendix, Rick Powell, Misty Tyers, J. N. Cameron
    Contains Bouillon de Bebe 
  • NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    by Gary Budgen, Julian Darius, Richard Greico Jr, Nikko Lee, K. A. Opperman, Alice Renard, Rose Banks, Paul St. John Mackintosh, Michael Seese

    Contains Instabiable by Nikko Lee

  • Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    by Carol Hightshoe, Cynthia Ward, Terry M. West, Christie Meierz, Dana Bell, Mary E. Lowd, Patrick J. Hurley, Francis W. Alexander, Liam Hogan

    Brainatarian by Nikko Lee

  • Coming Back
    Coming Back
    by James Arthur Anderson, Brian Barnett, Dave Fragments, Shawna Galvin, Vince Darcangelo, Ken Goldman, Michael Lindquist

    Contains A Mother Knows by Nikko Lee (paperback available at Lulu.com)

  • Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    by Jonathan W. Thurston

    Contains Great Mother Wolf by Michelle Knowlton

  • People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    by Frank Larnerd, Tony Peak, Geoff Gander, Shenoa Caroll-Bradd, Robert Hart, Nikko Lee, Kyle Yadlosky, Edward Martin III

    Contains Bouillon de Bebe by Nikko Lee

  • Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    by Nicole Gestalt, Crysta Coburn, J.T Seate, Nikko Lee, V.C., Zak Jane Keir, Blair, Regina Kammer, Jim Lee

    Contains Boson's Mate by Nikko Lee

  • The Big Book of Bizarro
    The Big Book of Bizarro
    by Rich Bottles Jr.

    Contains Honey-Do by Nikko Lee

  • Between Love and Lust
    Between Love and Lust
    by Nikko Lee

    E-book

    Print-on-demand paperback

  • Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    by J. Troy Seate, Patricia McCarthy, Nikke Lee, Andrea Saavedra, James Hartley, Edward McKeown, Mike Graves, J.E. Gurley, Zakk Erikson, David Bernstein C.C. Blake

    Contains Pure Delight by Nikko Lee

Tuesday
Nov062018

NaNoWriMo is here!

It's November. Clocks fall back. Turkeys get nervous. And authors put as much of their lives aside to devote their free time to writing.

I haven't done NaNoWriMo in a couple of years due to having 2 fall babies in a row. Now that they are 4 and 2, I am determined to get some writing done this month. Unfortunately, that means finding really creative times to write. I've got weekly write-ins organized at the local libraries. I'm trying to fight my motion sickness predilection to write during my commute. There's about 30 minutes between the time I go to bed and really should be going to sleep.

My project this year is the sequel to Wolf Creek where Josh gets his romantic interest and discovers this alpha heritage.

If you are writing this month, write on!

If you know someone who is, give them a brownie and leave them alone.

Thursday
Oct112018

Kidney Pond to Little Niagara: Hike/paddle

Our daycare is closed for a week and a half mid-August, which means it's family vacation time. Our favorite hiking spot has been Baxter state park and our favorite camping spot Wilderness Edge campground (no charge for kids under 12 and they have screen cabins).

Camping with small children is not for the faint or heart or those who enjoy relaxation and sleep. We are realisitic in our hiking plan considering there will be lots of carrying of children. After reading Aislinn Sarnacki's description of her hike and paddle from Kidney Pond to the Niagara falls in BSP, I was determined to try it with the kids. Fortunately, my husband was also up for the challenge after a day of hiking Katahdin.

When we picked up the key for the Lily Pond canoes at Kidney Pond, the ranger suggested we paddle across Kidney Pond. Ambitious me wanted to hike. However, I forgot how rocky the first section of the Kidney Pond trail is. Without poles and my daughter wanting to walk, the first mile was an agonizingly slow trek. However, we were rewarded with an enjoyable paddle once we reached Lily pond.

The found the docking site at the trail head for Little Niagara after spotting a tiny wooden arrow on a tree and had a snack before heading off on foot to the falls.

Unfortunately, I forgot the cardinal rule when hiking with children - they want to be carried when you least want to carry them. We set off with only one of the two carriers and in short order both children wanted me - and only me - to carry them. We made it to the Little Niagara falls before I realized that we also needed to get back. My husband went on ahead to get the other carrier while I struggled with the two.

I was surprised at how much the kids loved being in the canoe. No one fell in and we didn't tip over, which is a win in my books. The trek back to Kidney Pond was capped off with my daughter insisting on walking that last half mile of the rockiest terrain bare-footed.

All in all a great trip although I'd recommend paddling Kidney Pond.

Tuesday
Sep182018

Part of me never escaped

Warning: discussion of abuse

 

I have that dream again. The one where I've finally managed to break up with my emotionally abusive ex and can finally start putting the pieces of my life back together again. It's a dream I've had countless times since I drove him to Bangor and put him onto a plane out of my life. The details are different, but the themes are the same.

This time I'm cleaning up my old apartment, one that I haven't lived in since I was with him. There's stuff everywhere. It's a mess. But I'm confident that I can get things cleaned up. Then my ex shows up and won't go away.

Even though it's been 11 years and the relationship only lasted 3 years, it left a scare on my soul. I will never forget the confusion imposed by constant gaslighting. Those endless nights of crying, not knowing what to believe anymore. Feeling like this was my fault because of the choices I'd made or some fatal flaw within myself that couldn't just make things work.

There was the night I called 911 because he wouldn't let me leave then explained to the police officers that he just wanted a number on my cell phone.

Or the time he threatened to return my cats to the shelter if I couldn't work things out with him.

There were the subtle and not so subtle ways he tried to control me. From sexist jokes to convincing me that my friends and family hated him.

Mostly I've moved on. I have a great life with a loving husband who respects my autonomy and two cuddle demanding children. That is aside from the occasional panic attack when I think I've seen him or the crushing weight of remembering all I went through.

I did learn some lessons.

1. Anyone who makes you cry more than you smile is not good for you.

2. Anyone who tries to physically stop you from leaving doesn't respect you.

3. Someone who has been caught lying has no incentive to tell the truth.

I'm not sure what triggered the dream this time. I think it has to do with Blaise Ford's description of her assault and her willingness to stand before a body of people - more than half of whom have a vested interest in ripping her life to shreds - and defend her truth.

You never forget when you think someone might kill you. Part of you is still there, will always be there in that moment when you realized that your fate was in the hands of someone who will take pleasure in hurting you. 

Monday
Aug272018

Mt. Washington Autoroute: Kid Speed

Last month, we packed up the kids and headed to the White Mountains. In passed years, we've hiked Tuckerman's Ravine and the Seven Husband's trail. This year with an almost 4 year old and an almost 2 year old, I stayed with the kids while my husband and some friends hiked Tuckerman's Ravine.

Instead of hiking, I loaded the kids, some snacks, drinks and some warm clothes and we headed up the autoroute. It felt like cheating as we climbed mile after mile at a snails pace listening to the tour CD. Soon the road grew steeper and the forest gave way to rock. The sun glinted off the mica and the fog lifted from the valleys.

We were nearly to the top when the paved road ended and we kept driving pulling aside for those in more of a hurry.

The record is something like 7 minutes by car, it took up nearly half an hour. At the summit, I was glad to have brought extra layers of clothings as it was a good 15 degrees cooler than at the base. The kids and I explored around the summit, watched the cog train depart and went inside for a snack and to wait for my husband and his friends.

 

They arrived shortly after we did. We shared lunch before they headed down the trail and I loaded up the car. Ten minutes of crying later, both kids had passed out and I enjoyed a quiet ride home.

There will be many hiking years ahead of us. For now, I'm adventuring on kid speed whether by car or tiny toddler steps.

Friday
Aug102018

Unheard voices: what we lose when we don't prioritize diversity

Yesterday I read a blog post by a well-respected and published author where he railed against diversity for diversity's sake at the expense of quality cis white male authors such as himself. The post was overall tone deaf about the issue of diversity and – as you can imagine – the comments in reply ranged from 'amen, brother' to 'how dare you'?

I came down on the fence, politely pointing out that the drive behind diversity in writing, science, etc. is not equal numbers at the expense of quality, but a realization that the system we've developed excludes many voices that have quality ideas that can enrich our overall experience.

The reality is that there is only one person who can win an award or a handful that can be nominated. So, yeah, maybe if a person from an under-represented group wins an award it means that the old, white, guy who was also nominated loses. Is that really a problem?

No one is advocating that minority status entitled anyone to a free pass. We are in a moment where numerous entertainment and academic avenues are taking a serious look at their lack of diversity and asking why?

In the case of fiction publishing or science, the lack of diversity in the fields stems from a lack of opportunity at the entry levels. Institutions and organizations are taking a hard look at their representation because it reflects a lack of open doors and support at the most fundamental entry points.

A friend asked me how I – a white cis woman – can write gay erotica. I expressed my reservations about writing from a view point outside of my own experience. I struggled with it when I published Wolf Creek and Spar. A gay man would be better able write about their own experiences, but they wouldn't be writing my stories. They would be writing their own.

A cis white male has every right to write a romance with a female main character. But how much more could a woman bring to that story? An African-American woman? An illegal immigrant woman fleeing gang violence with her children in search of a better life?

While the skill of a writer can allow them to get into the shoes of their characters – whoever they are – the story written will not be the same as one written by an author with different life experiences.

The whole blog post and subsequent debate really struck me as mirroring a powerful discussion we are having in the USA about the value of immigrants, diversity and race. A diverse population brings forth new ideas, challenges and experiences to the betterment of all. And yes, that means fewer white male everythings. But if their work is truly that good, it will not be pushed aside for the sake of diversity but honored as another voice in our rich tapestry.