Connect with me
Navigation
Buy my stories
  • Spar
    Spar
    by Nikko Lee

    A closeted black belt comes to terms with his bisexuality when he takes an openly gay student as his new sparring partner.

  • Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    by Nikko Lee, Digital Fiction

    Life as a gay omega werewolf is no fairytale.

  • Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt, Rev. Thomas Thorn, Nikko Lee, Dax Bordas, Sebastian Bendix, Rick Powell, Misty Tyers, J. N. Cameron
    Contains Bouillon de Bebe 
  • NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    by Gary Budgen, Julian Darius, Richard Greico Jr, Nikko Lee, K. A. Opperman, Alice Renard, Rose Banks, Paul St. John Mackintosh, Michael Seese

    Contains Instabiable by Nikko Lee

  • Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    by Carol Hightshoe, Cynthia Ward, Terry M. West, Christie Meierz, Dana Bell, Mary E. Lowd, Patrick J. Hurley, Francis W. Alexander, Liam Hogan

    Brainatarian by Nikko Lee

  • Coming Back
    Coming Back
    by James Arthur Anderson, Brian Barnett, Dave Fragments, Shawna Galvin, Vince Darcangelo, Ken Goldman, Michael Lindquist

    Contains A Mother Knows by Nikko Lee (paperback available at Lulu.com)

  • Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    by Jonathan W. Thurston

    Contains Great Mother Wolf by Michelle Knowlton

  • People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    by Frank Larnerd, Tony Peak, Geoff Gander, Shenoa Caroll-Bradd, Robert Hart, Nikko Lee, Kyle Yadlosky, Edward Martin III

    Contains Bouillon de Bebe by Nikko Lee

  • Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    by Nicole Gestalt, Crysta Coburn, J.T Seate, Nikko Lee, V.C., Zak Jane Keir, Blair, Regina Kammer, Jim Lee

    Contains Boson's Mate by Nikko Lee

  • The Big Book of Bizarro
    The Big Book of Bizarro
    by Rich Bottles Jr.

    Contains Honey-Do by Nikko Lee

  • Between Love and Lust
    Between Love and Lust
    by Nikko Lee

    E-book

    Print-on-demand paperback

  • Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    by J. Troy Seate, Patricia McCarthy, Nikke Lee, Andrea Saavedra, James Hartley, Edward McKeown, Mike Graves, J.E. Gurley, Zakk Erikson, David Bernstein C.C. Blake

    Contains Pure Delight by Nikko Lee

« When place is a character | Main | What a story is versus what it is about »
Tuesday
Jul162019

Je me souviens

Home for me has always been Knowlton Landing, Potton, Quebec. It's not that I spent my entire childhood on the family farm of which I was the eighth generation. In fact, we moved so regularly that I've now lived more years in Maine than I have lived anywhere else. Yet it was the first home I ever know and where my father's family lived. The land that was settled by my ancestors in 1821 and has been more or less -often less- in our family since than until this year when we sold the farm.

Knowlton Landing was always the place I returned to no matter in which province or country I had my primary residence. It was where I spent holidays and summer vacations during high school and undergraduate. The land is tied to my nearly all my memories of family and childhood.

My children are too young to have formed many memories of the farm. In all likelihood, they won't even remember visiting it. Years from now when they take me on a trip to Quebec in my old age, I will have to point out all the old spots that used to be so familiar to me. Their experience growing up will be so different from my own in many ways. I wonder sometimes how I will impart to them their family heritage, particularly their French Canadian heritage.

Although my father's family is English, descended from Massachusetts residents who sought their fortunes in Quebec, my mother's family is French of the first French Canadians to settle the province. I can remember understanding and speaking French as young fives years old. I've tried now and again to sing to my children in French and they will indulge me sometimes by singing along when they aren't telling me 'not that one'. Yet they will never be fluent in French if they even remember some phrases.

In recent years, my husband and I have started hosting Reveillon Christmas parties. Even though those particular parties weren't a part of my up bringing, it's an excuse for me to cook the foods I remember my mother cooking for special occasions and other uniquely French Canadian recipes.

With the sale of the farm and my father moving away from the place I had always considered my home base, I am forced to reflect on how I define myself as Quebecoise. Researching the history of the farm has helped me connect to my anglophone roots. My maternal grandpapa wrote a great family history that helps connect me to my francophone family. But I can't help but feel a loss that my children will never really know what it means to be half-French, half-English. One foot in each culture.

So if I seem a little too eager to speak to you in French or pull out random French Canadian recipes for gathering, it's just my small way of holding onto a piece of me that isn't so obvious.

PS For an explanation of the 'Je me souvien motto' see this Frenchly post.

PrintView Printer Friendly Version

EmailEmail Article to Friend

Reader Comments

There are no comments for this journal entry. To create a new comment, use the form below.

PostPost a New Comment

Enter your information below to add a new comment.

My response is on my own website »
Author Email (optional):
Author URL (optional):
Post:
 
Some HTML allowed: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>