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  • Spar
    by Nikko Lee

    A closeted black belt comes to terms with his bisexuality when he takes an openly gay student as his new sparring partner.

  • Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    Wolf Creek: Gay Werewolf Romance
    by Nikko Lee, Digital Fiction

    Life as a gay omega werewolf is no fairytale.

  • Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    Bon Appetit: Stories & Recipes for Human Consumption
    by Donald Jacob Uitvlugt, Rev. Thomas Thorn, Nikko Lee, Dax Bordas, Sebastian Bendix, Rick Powell, Misty Tyers, J. N. Cameron
    Contains Bouillon de Bebe 
  • NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    NECRONOMICUM #2 (NECRONOMICUM: The Magazine of Weird Erotica)
    by Gary Budgen, Julian Darius, Richard Greico Jr, Nikko Lee, K. A. Opperman, Alice Renard, Rose Banks, Paul St. John Mackintosh, Michael Seese

    Contains Instabiable by Nikko Lee

  • Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    Zombiefied Reloaded: The Search for More Brains
    by Carol Hightshoe, Cynthia Ward, Terry M. West, Christie Meierz, Dana Bell, Mary E. Lowd, Patrick J. Hurley, Francis W. Alexander, Liam Hogan

    Brainatarian by Nikko Lee

  • Coming Back
    Coming Back
    by James Arthur Anderson, Brian Barnett, Dave Fragments, Shawna Galvin, Vince Darcangelo, Ken Goldman, Michael Lindquist

    Contains A Mother Knows by Nikko Lee (paperback available at

  • Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    Wolf Warriors: The National Wolfwatcher Coalition Anthology
    by Jonathan W. Thurston

    Contains Great Mother Wolf by Michelle Knowlton

  • People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    People Eating People: A Cannibal Anthology
    by Frank Larnerd, Tony Peak, Geoff Gander, Shenoa Caroll-Bradd, Robert Hart, Nikko Lee, Kyle Yadlosky, Edward Martin III

    Contains Bouillon de Bebe by Nikko Lee

  • Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    Valves & Vixens: Steampunk Erotica
    by Nicole Gestalt, Crysta Coburn, J.T Seate, Nikko Lee, V.C., Zak Jane Keir, Blair, Regina Kammer, Jim Lee

    Contains Boson's Mate by Nikko Lee

  • The Big Book of Bizarro
    The Big Book of Bizarro
    by Rich Bottles Jr.

    Contains Honey-Do by Nikko Lee

  • Between Love and Lust
    Between Love and Lust
    by Nikko Lee


    Print-on-demand paperback

  • Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    Templar and Other Stories of Suspense and Terror (Vampires 2, Volume 4)
    by J. Troy Seate, Patricia McCarthy, Nikke Lee, Andrea Saavedra, James Hartley, Edward McKeown, Mike Graves, J.E. Gurley, Zakk Erikson, David Bernstein C.C. Blake

    Contains Pure Delight by Nikko Lee


Tiny Tyrant

Wake up. Go to sleep. Wake up.

My toddler play this game whenever I'm tired and put my head down to rest. She wants me to be wake up.

I don't want to be alone.

I hear as I take three steps away from her.

I want to come with you.

A familiar refrain as I try to accomplish any task out of sight of my daughter.

Don't leave. I want to snuggle.

My attempts to leave her after a good-night kiss are met with this seemingly innocent request and often accompanied by claims of monsters.

Save me.

I want to eat on your lap.

Not that cup. The green cup with the blue lid. Not that one.

Put PJs right back on.

Life with a toddler means constant demands, a good chance of a mess and infinite possibilities for sweetness and laughter.

I'm going to push you over.

She laughs and whether I like it or not, my daughter is determined to make it happen.


Hiking with kids: Great Pond Mountain

When getting out of the house is a work out in itself, hikes need to be close and easy. This means that Blue Hill Mountain and Great Pond Mountain Preserve have become go to hiking areas.

This weekend I joined a couple of friends with my 3 and 1 year old in tow to hike the Great Pond Mountain trail. My 1 year old got the coveted seat in the backpack forcing my 3 year old to move - mostly - under her own power.

After everyone was out of the car and into their coats, hats, mitts, etc. we started up a short stair case. My daughter often likes to hold my hand as she walks. It can be a little awkward, but I can keep her up when she stumbles.

This day there was no leaving the car drama, which meant that the first few minutes of the hike were the best. My daughter was motivated to keep up with us even with her short little legs and clunky snow pants. Then she started to lag.

To get up a steep incline, I managed to hoist her onto my shoulders without squishing my son. However, 60 lbs of weight made the uphill an excellent workout for me. Once up the hill she was back on her own two feet.

I'd periodically look back to make sure I know where she was. At one point, I looked back to see her off the trail leaning on a tree. The deep leaves and uneven ground brought her to a stand still. Mom to the rescue. I got her back on the trail only to find her kneeling in the trail 5 minutes later.

When I threatened to turn around, she wanted to go forward. When I wanted to go forward, she wanted to crawl or roll or do anything but walk on the trail.

Hiking with small children is so frustrating, but it also reminds me that the purpose isn't making a destination but enjoying the outdoors. So we wandered. We jumped off of rocks. We pretend to pull each other out of holes with imaginary rope.

Finally, we decided we needed to get back to the car for a snack. We touched blazes. We jumped off of rocks. We enjoyed more closeness as I carried her - a times upside down - and just had fun being outside without marking summits or miles.


Anxiety is a thief

When I was a young teenager, my mother sat me down for the 'talk'. No, not the birds and the bees talk. This talk was about mental illness and how common it was in our family.

Depression. Anxiety. Anti-social behaviors. Schizophrenia.

Being a psychiatric nurse, my mother knew how important it was to look for warning signs with the knowledge that mental-illness can be treated and managed.

Although I struggled with most social interactions and have experienced some depressive episodes, I always thought that my anxieties were well-managed without medication. As long as I exercised regularly and my good days vastly outnumbered my down days, I figured I was doing good.

Post-partum with my first child was brutal. The combination of hormonal fluctuations, new motherhood and a baby that wouldn't latch kead me to a place of anxiety that bordered on obsession. Returning to work and time helped me re-establish my equilibrium.

Now that my daughter is 3 years old and starting to encounter social situations that she shies away from, I wonder about the cost of anxiety.

Most people feel some kind of anxiety. It can actually be positive when it moves you to improve yourself and the situation. But anxiety can also be a thief.

I don't want my daughter to miss out because she doesn't want to talk to anyone or she doesn't want to get out of her stroller or carrier.

It's made me wonder what I've missed out on because of my anxiety.

What people have I not talked to because I didn't want to stay at a social engagement where I didn't know anyone?

What opportunities have I passed on because I didn't think I could succeed at them?

What learning experiences have I let pass by because I was did not want to extend myself too far from my comfort zone?

Anxiety is insidious in how it re-shapes your thinking. It convinces you that you really aren't qualified for that job you want to apply for. It tells you that no one really wants to read your writing. It makes you believe that you really don't like to be around people because it's too stressful.

Being a parent allows you to see your life from the outside as you watch your child exhibit behaviors that you might have as well.

I want my daughter to know that it's okay to be quiet and observe or be on her own. But it should be a choice motivated by desire not fear.


Just in time for Halloween

Bouillon de Bebe is included in the Bon Appetit Anthology. Check it out:


-In Bouillon de Bébé, a family’s twisted tradition of self-sacrifice
contains the power to bring their loved ones back from the brink.



Yellow-Eyed Monster

There's a monster.

I can't see it, only those glowing yellow-eyes.

They whisper to me

"You are wrong."

"You can't do it."

"You don't deserve it."

That insidious voice echoes in my head until all I want to do is hide.

Safe within my comfort zones, waiting for it to leave.

But it doesn't.

It only withdraws into the forest and the dark.



When I've had little sleep or my children are being challenging or I am reaching beyond my comfort zone, I feel this overwhelming sense of anxiety. Sometimes I just need to remind myself that my goals and aspirations are worth the risk of failure.

Failing is normal. It is good. Failure is a learning experience.

Not risking failure might feel more comfortable, but it will leaving me with only regret.

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